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- Title: Still Foolin’ ‘Em: Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?
- Author: Billy Crystal
- Narrator: Billy Crystal
- Length: 08:04:00
- Version: Abridged
- Release Date: 10/09/2013
- Publisher: Macmillan Audio
- Genre: Biography & Memoir, Non-Fiction, Arts & Entertainment, Art & Music
- ISBN13: 9.78E+12
It’s not every day you get to sit shotgun with a legend like Billy Crystal as he drives you through the winding roads of his life, but that’s exactly what the audiobook “Still Foolin’ ‘Em: Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?” offers. Narrated by the man himself, this isn’t just an audiobook experience – it’s a front-row seat to a master storyteller spinning tales with the warmth of a late-night mezcal by an Oaxacan fire. At 65, Crystal’s not shy about the absurdities of aging, and his trademark wit turns gripes about insomnia, memory lapses, and shirt-stained dinners into a roadmap for the 77 million baby boomers riding shotgun with him. You can almost hear the grin in his voice as he asks, ‘Where the hell are my keys?’ – a question I’ve muttered myself more times than I’d care to admit while rummaging through a backpack in some dusty corner of the world.
The story unfolds like a well-worn travel journal, each chapter a pit stop along Crystal’s remarkable journey. It reminds me of a time when I was weaving through Chile’s Atacama Desert, the driest place on Earth, listening to “One Hundred Years of Solitude” on audiobook. The surreal landscape outside my window blurred with García Márquez’s magical realism, narrated in a voice so rich it felt like an elder recounting history over a crackling fire. Crystal’s narration carries that same intimate magic. Whether he’s riffing on his one-day stint with the New York Yankees – where he jokingly claims to have tested ‘positive for Maalox’ – or reminiscing about his love affair with Sophia Loren, his delivery is a masterclass in timing and tone. There’s a portion recorded live in front of a studio audience, and you can feel the energy shift, like when I sat with a family in Oaxaca, listening to their abuela weave tales with pauses so perfectly placed you’d swear she’d been rehearsing for decades.
Crystal doesn’t just catalog the physical indignities of aging – though he does that with hilarious precision in chapters like ‘Buying the Plot’ and ‘Nodding Off.’ He digs deeper, offering poignant reflections on grandparenting, religion (cue the ‘Holy Trinity’ of Advil, bourbon, and Prozac), and friendships with icons like Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. As a travel writer who’s spent years chasing hidden histories and human connections, I found myself nodding along, thinking of the elders I’ve met in far-flung places who’ve shared their own hard-earned wisdom over a shared meal. Crystal’s stories – of entertaining relatives as a kid in Long Island, cutting his teeth in the Village’s stand-up scene, and lighting up the screen in “When Harry Met Sally” – are vivid sensory snapshots. You can almost taste the stale coffee of those early gigs, hear the roar of the crowd at the Oscars, feel the weight of a life well-lived.
The audio quality itself is pristine, clocking in at just over eight hours – short enough to devour on a long-haul flight from Lisbon to Buenos Aires, yet packed with enough meat to leave you satisfied. Crystal’s voice is the star here, shifting effortlessly from self-deprecating humor to tender nostalgia. His pacing is impeccable, knowing just when to lean into a punchline or let a quiet moment breathe. It’s no surprise this audiobook snagged a Grammy nod in 2014 for Spoken Word – it’s less a performance and more a conversation with an old friend. That said, there are moments where the live audience bits feel a tad jarring, pulling you out of the intimate listening experience. And while Crystal’s charm carries the lighter chapters, some of the heavier reflections – like those on mortality – could’ve lingered longer to hit harder.
Compared to other memoirs in the genre, “Still Foolin’ ‘Em” stands out for its blend of comedy and heart. It’s not as raw as Tina Fey’s “Bossypants” or as introspective as Michelle Obama’s “Becoming”, but it doesn’t try to be. Crystal’s lens is uniquely his – equal parts Catskills comic and Hollywood insider – and that’s its strength. If you’re a fan of biography and memoir, especially with an arts and entertainment twist, this audiobook is a must-listen. It’s perfect for anyone who’s ever laughed at life’s absurdities or wondered where their own keys wandered off to.
For me, this audiobook hit a personal chord. I’ve spent countless evenings on the road, from dusty patios in Mexico to windswept cliffs in Patagonia, listening to voices that bring stories to life. Crystal’s narration took me back to those Oaxacan nights with that grandmother, her tales of love and loss delivered with the same down-to-earth charm. It’s the kind of audiobook experience that makes you want to slow down, savor the ride, and maybe even call up an old friend to reminisce. If you’re looking for a free audiobook that delivers laughs, tears, and a d”mn good story, “Still Foolin’ ‘Em* is worth the download – trust me, you’ll be glad you packed it for the journey.
Hasta la próxima aventura, amigos,
Marcus Rivera
